Category Archives: Uncategorized

Melancholy Dreams

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I am not who I used to be, A piece of me left with you

How do I fight back for the old me, When my heart has been split in two

Parts of me ache for your presence to be near

Parts of me know you have never left and can hear

Hear my pains, feel my joys, soothe my aches, and rejoice in peace

Other times I feel so lost, so confused, so broken, in a heap

Fighting battles I know I can’t win

I want to give up, I want to give in

Lost without your guiding hand

I want you back, that’s my demand

Melancholy dreams, sad smiles abound

What am I supposed to do when you aren’t around

I know the answer, I know the fight

Because now you are my shining light

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Ross + Extern

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Oh wow, where do I begin. Back at the end of April Matt finally pushed me into inquiring about Ross Medical Center and within a few quick days I was enrolled on campus and attended their morning classes.

I didn’t expect to love it as much as I did. Ross was generally positive experience, save for a few hiccups involving cheating (not me, other students). Anyway, there I was lucky enough to meet many like minded women, one of which was the lovely Arlana. Arlana has been such an inspiration and I would be lost without her. She is truly one of my best friends now, and has really served as a positive light and drive in my life.

Anyway, Arlana, Arpana, Quantavia, and I all started on May 3rd and in a few quick months we have passed (with high honors I might add) all six mods. We are currently wrapping up our externship, which brings me to my next point…

Extern.

I was fortunate enough to be able to extern at my own doctors office. I have went to NFP since I came here, so it’s been really awesome to get to work there. I am doing well there and think I get along fairly well with everyone so far. I am learning a lot and have really enjoyed everything. I have had some really amazing trainers (MA, C especially, and A). I have really grown to love these ladies already and I have loved my weeks as an extern there. I just finished my fifth week of a six week extern through Ross and it has actually lead me to…

Employment.

So, Arlana and I both externed at nfp and were both offered positions there during our third week. While Arlana’s availability inhibited her from accepting, I did. I’m pretty excited and I have been busy the last few weeks doing all the necessary steps to start employment on Monday the 27th of November. I will kick Monday and Tuesday off with all-day orientation and then I will be spending Wednesday in our simulation lab, getting signed off on skills.

I also just took my RMA exam on Tuesday. I was extremely nervous and hyped it up way more than necessary. I was stressed because on my practice exams I took while on extern I got a 69 and needed a 70 to pass. I ended up taking it and passing with a 91 once I relaxed!

So, all of that has been awesome. I am really fortunate to have such a strong and amazing support system.

More bitching about A**

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Today, as I was getting Avila ready for session at the Autism Center, she asks if she can bring a snack. “Please momma? I wanna bring a snack. In a lunchbox. Like C*. Like M*. Like other kids. I need to be the lucky one with a snack. In a lunchbox. With a drink!” 

So I go about assembling a pack of fruit snacks, a cookie, a Halo, and a sippy cup of water. We put it all in her Trolls tin that my mom got her and Iris from Walmart. We get to the Center and A** greets Avila and notes the lunchbox. She goes, “Oh good, I’m glad. I know you’ve had a hard time with that the past few times I’ve seen you.” Looks at me, “Yeah, a little anxiety.” 

EXCUSE ME?!! My kid had been having fucking anxiety over a fucking snack for no God damn reason for weeks and no one bothered to tell me??! What the fuck is this shit?! What the hell is going on?? 

#Avilaisms 

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Avila: “Momma, I love it when Branch sings. I like his voice.”

Me: “Yeah, I like Justin Timberlake too.”

Avila: “No. I said Branch.”

Me: “Branch is played by a guy named Justin Timberlake.”

Avila: “No, I’m pretty sure his name is just Branch.”

Me: “I promise his name is Justin Timberlake.”

Avila: “That’s probably his last name because his first name is definitely Branch.”

I need anger management…

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I need to vent…

My daughter receives services through our county and it’s called the Autism Program. They have group sessions at a place called The Hub. There she has a social worker (H**),  a masters level clinician (A**), a bachelor’s level clinician (S**2), and a handful of various therapists. Well, starting at the beginning of this year we got a new masters level clinician in charge of our case. The woman previously was “S**” and she was AMAZING. Kept me super informed on everything. Never had an issue when S** was our one in charge. Well, S** took a new job and so we got the new lady, A**. And I don’t like her. At all. My daughter was supposed to be getting 4 hours of group a week, and 4 hours of 1on1 in the home a week. When I was working I couldn’t be there during her in home sessions but my mom stayed here with her. There were 3 times I had to cancel because I had to work and my mom had appointments. 

Well, at her annual review A** informs me that because *I* hadn’t been participating (which, I don’t anyway as I have two younger children to occupy while they’re there) and the cancelations, they were going to punish my daughter by taking a day (2 hrs) of 1on1 away. (And then I get fired the next day, lol) 

Well, I had a meeting with the caseworker, H**. She agreed it sucked, but it was policy. Ok. Supposedly tells me my daughter’s annual test at HealthWest (the county mental health facility/program that the autism program is run through. It is not at the Hub) is the next day. Well, I don’t ever recall this information ever being informed to me so we miss it. I get a text from Hannah the next day asking what happened. She says she will try to reschedule. 

I bring my daughter to group at the Hub the next day and A** comes out all huffy, going, “She can’t be here since you missed her test and ypu never rescheduled it. She can’t have services until she’s reevaluated.” And leaves.

So, of course my kid freaks out on me when I make her leave with me. And she can’t have services until she does this test and they score it. Okay, I get that part. So, I call this morning to find out what the hell is happening, and her test isn’t until March 22! OMG. 

This is insane! And to punish her because of me? And the test, no one ever informed me about, when it was scheduled in the first place! That’s kind of a huge deal and I should have been informed before the day before anyway. Which I wasn’t. She never said anything about it being scheduled. Let alone the next day! And A** could’ve called me or had someone call before driving 30 mins one way to get there, just to make her leave, make her have a meltdown, and then walk away and not even tell me anything. 

I called the testing place myself today to find out what was going on and they told me that A** rescheduled it for March 22 after I missed it on Thursday!! Ugh!!! She knew Thursday evening that Avila could not come to group on Monday. 

She’s supposed to graduate out of the program this fall anyway but damn!
 I’m really upset because I feel like A** (and H** both) really dropped the ball on this one, and now Avila is the one that suffers. I never missed anything when I had Sheila. I miss her so much right now. I’m so frustrated with Amy ever since I got her. I tried being understanding, being thrown into Sheila’s caseloads and trying to build a relationship with all those families. But now I feel like she doesn’t matter anymore because they anticipate her graduating in the fall.

UPDATE:  H** calls the next day informing me that there has been a cancelation the next day at 1pm! Yes! 

The Great “Mailbox Friends” Adventure¬†

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So, I’ve decided a great way to work on Avila’s writing skills is to set her up with some pen pals. She calls them her mailbox friends. I posted a status on my personal Facebook page and to an Autism Support Group on Facebook as well. What I had originally intended for, was to have her write to three kids. One on Monday, one on Wednesdays, and one on Fridays. Well. That escalated quickly. By the end of the day, I got Avila and Iris enough pen pals to write to two people a day, six days a week. Whoa! So, we will see how that goes. Wish us luck!!

Proof I finally got the living room under control…

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Shelf on the right side of the living room. Everyone has their own bin for their small, miscellaneous toys. Blocks, Dino Trux, cars, and the Train sets round out the contents. 

Next to that shelf is the dress up area. Got the shelf unit from Target on clearance for $40. 

The left side of the living room. 

I’d like to get actual shelves when we move to house the Funko Pop collections. I’d like to expand our collection and then arrange them by one set per shelf. We shall see. Right now we have a few of each: Disney Princesses, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, Marvel Heroes, Avengers, Harry Potter, Zootopia, Arrow, Gotham, The Flash, Moana, Scooby-Doo, Supernatural, The Walking Dead, My Little Pony, and classic Horror Villains. Avila just recently completed the Ghostbusters (2016) set of Pops.